How to Get a Tattoo You Will Love for the Rest of Your Life

Tattoos last forever, or at least as long as your body lasts, which is pretty much forever in human terms. For a lot of people (your boss and your grandpa), this is the main reason not to get them. For other people (you), this is what makes them so great. Your pets and your parents will die, your house will get bulldozed to build a superhighway, your friends will move to New York City.

But your tattoos? Barring a full-body burning accident, they will be with you through the whole scary, sublime thing, until you are sitting in your easy chair, unable to pee without the help of an in-home care assistant. Until finally, you lose consciousness and stop existing. How comforting to know that:
a) your memories will be written on your body no matter how badly your brain disintegrates and
b) your in-home care assistant will have something pretty to look at while he’s pulling down your pants for you.

So, without further ado, your step-by-step guide to getting a tattoo you won’t regret for the rest of your life:

Research! The most important of all steps!

Getting a good tattoo requires some actual preparation. According to Derick: “The biggest mistake I think someone can make is not doing research on the artist that they get tattooed by.

Tattooing has become such a popularized trend… more people are tattooing now, more than ever, but just because someone gets the idea in their head that they want to be a tattooer doesn’t mean that they have the proper training or the proper techniques. It’s just like anything else: if you have the money, you can open up a shop, but that doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing.”

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Don’t price shop.

Would you look on Craigslist for the cheapest babysitter? Maybe, this isn’t a parenting lesson, but the point is, if some guy says he’ll give you a tattoo for 40 bucks, walk away.

Instead, be ready to pay as much as it takes to get high quality work. Pick cheaper shoes or buy your rice in bulk if you want to save money, but when it comes to art that will be on your body until you die, don’t expect to pay less than $100 before tip, and a lot more if you are getting something large or adding color.

Check out the shop in person.

hen you find someone you think you like, go into the shop and meet the artist in real life before you actually get anything done. First, the shop should be clean. Check for work on display and see how you feel about the aesthetic in person. Then, go with your gut.

My first tattoo, which I got when I was about 20, was the result of something halfway between a whim and a manic compulsion, when I decided I needed a tattoo and jumped on the bus that went to the part of Portland rife with tattoo parlors.

The first one I went into was clean enough, but something about it gave me the heebie jeebies and I got back on the bus and got off at a smaller, friendlier place, where I ended up getting a tiny star below my left hip.

Eat something before you go.

No one wants you to pass out. Eat dinner! Bring along some candy to chew on if you are getting something big done.

Don’t come in with a posse.

Derick: “I think a mistake a lot of people can make is coming into a tattoo shop with a whole plethora of friends. I’ve watched people come in, know what they want, and through the opinion of 4 or 5 other people end up getting something completely different or going against the advice of the tattoo artist.”

Derick has a lot of great tattoos and he says: “Whenever I’ve gotten my tattoos, I’ve done it all by myself… just so I know that whatever I’m getting is all on me.”

Bring a friend if you are nervous or if you just want the company. But don’t bring a pack. You did your research, remember? This is between you and the person putting it on your body. It doesn’t really matter that your friend with no tattoos thinks it would look better in orange on your left kneecap.

Accept that this will hurt.

Yes, it will hurt. It is needles poking your skin deeply and quickly. But if it didn’t hurt, would it mean as much? Plus, now instead of being the person asking their tatted-up friend, “Oh man, did that hurt?” you will be the person answering, “Yeah, it wasn’t so bad.”

Tip!

You did your research and you got an awesome tattoo! So tip! At least 20 percent and always in cash. Let me repeat that: always in cash. So make sure you have enough BEFORE YOU GET TO THE TATTOO PARLOR.

Follow the care instructions.

Derick: “People should really treat their tattoo like they got a flesh wound.”
Enjoy your new tattoo ;)